Status so Far

This is the status so far
ME: Week 30 - fat, clothes not fitting, waddling, sleepy all the time, wanting to dig nose all the time since become super stuffy but resisting to maintain image of beautific madonna with child.
PEPPERCORN: swishing, kicking in ribs, still taking blame for all my triple and quadraple helpings at dinner table
Apartment: 90%ready - last stretch going painfully slow
Husband: 90%ready - last stretch going painfully slow
Mother: 90%ready - last stretch painfully slow
Cats: not ready at all - think no need for baby, since they gaurantee lifetime of having to share space in bed, closet and throw-up and potty cleaning. Why have baby???